Wednesday, June 22, 2011


JUNE 1, 2011

 I like coffee. I drink at least a pot a day. But the coffee I have at home right now tastes like garbage. I have the house coffee from BJ's warehouse store. I do really like Chock Full Of Nuts and New England coffee - but I went for the BJ's coffee because we had money to blow on it and that's all they had. I bought WAAAY too much. It's old, puke and I can't just chuck it out. It's not the worst I've ever had. I used to stop at a Nice N Easy on my way to work and, depending on the day, you either ended up with coffee that tastes like a fat woman's crotch, or exactly like tuna fish. Or is that the same? I realize that I shouldn't buy coffee at a gas station but it's not like I was buying one of those scary hot dogs they have rolling around on the counter all day long.

In college I used to be obsessed with the machine coffee. I have an unusual affinity to that coffee from a machine (the ones that cost like 25 cents) that taste like a mix of peanuts and earwax, and boy did they have it. But this stuff is awful. So bad that I want to buy a new machine and new coffee. I have a crush on those Keurig One Cup makers. We had one at my last job and I chugged tons of the stuff. But surely I should just by the flavor's I like instead of blowing $200 on a machine that heats water? or better for my health - go back to tea. I used to drink that non-stop, but now I'm addicted to the caffeine kick of coffee. Add that making tea requires making cup after cup, when coffee is 10 cups in one go. Actually years ago we owned a kettle that never ever stopped boiling. It was the dumbest thing - it would boil, keep boiling until all the water evaporated, and then continue until the house burned down.

Add that every third cup of tea I make tastes like feet. And worse - when you visit others they ask if you want a tea and you accidentally say yes. At which point not only do they bring you some rancid flowery puke with honey and half and half in it (sacrilegious), but they also reveal that they didn't even boil a kettle. They don't even own one. No - they put it in the microwave. Which is something people in Al Qaeda would do. Add one time - and I'll never forget it - but someone in work made me a cup of tea and I found a fingernail in it.

Great - I'm now out of coffee and can't stand the thought of a tea. Bah.

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