Saturday, June 25, 2011


For breakfast this morning I witnessed my wife eating Shredded Wheat. First thing she did was soak each one in water before putting milk on them. Obviously divorce proceedings will begin immediately. A decade has past in our relationship without that coming up. Which I think means she had deliberately been hiding it. Like a dirty secret. Frankly I would have been more at ease this morning if she confessed to having several illegitimate kids.

Apparently Teddy is sick. Teddy belonged to my wife when she was a kid. And if i'm not mistaken to her grandfather well before that. He's old and held up very well. So when my daughter said he was sick I figured he might have a hole in him or something. After all we are at the in-laws and their dog would view Teddy as a fantastic treat. But no - Teddy is physically fine. He is, however, under a tiny blanket on the bed along with some binoculars and a duck whistle. My daughter tells me he is sick because the germs pooped on his head. That'll do it most times I guess.

My daughter has also spent a large part of the day biking around the driveway in the rain telling us that her first parents died from smoking cigarettes. So to make up for it, "someone" gave her us. Which was a pretty good deal up till now, but I can't imagine how cheated she's going to feel when I explain to her what her mother did with her Shredded Wheat this morning. She's going to be devastated.

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