Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Tapeworm

JUNE 12, 2011

I'm sure my daughter has one. So far this morning she's eaten a round of toast, a bowl of cereal, two bagels with cream cheese, an apple (worst of all, MY last apple), potato chips and a chocolate covered granola bar. She is currently having an extreme meltdown because I won't give her more potato chips. The fervency is quite extraodordinary - she genuinely seems to think of she doesn't get potato chips immediately she will whither away and die within the hour. I'm assuming she has a tapeworm. One that desperately needs food until around 5pm, at which point it simply refuses to eat anything else unless it's ice cream. She will beg me for hours then skip her meals. So, to combat this the only snacks in the house from now on will be these -:


I also fell into the trap of watching morning news this morning. I wanted to see the weather and left it on too long and it ran through a few commercials. There was a trailer for CSI -  things blowing up, people being murdered. Just death after death after death. But not a nipple in sight - oh no that would be wrong. My kids are not shielded at all about death - they know the women two doors down died of cancer. They know animals are killed for meat. They are very comfortable with how it all works. But stuff like this bothers my daughter because she doesn't understand at all why people are mean. I'll have to figure that one out.

I'll also have to be more careful on the computer. I use it sporadically during the day to check email, Facebook and the news. My kids are always eying it to see if I'm looking at cartoons or on Skype with grandparents. It's not as if I'm sitting around Googling, "Shay Lorens cooter" and brazenly zooming in to get a closer look. But today I was goofing around on Ebaum and this monstrosity appeared -


I will mail you $50 if you can get your kids to shit hearts.

Daily Dump - Tea

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