Monday, December 5, 2011

El Chupacabra

My son likes beef.

Any cut is fine by him. I like shitty cuts of beef cooked well. Premium cuts cooked well taste like garbage to me. But my son - he's part wolverine. So last night I cooked a chuck roast for twenty minutes in a frying pan knowing full well my wife wouldn't want to eat it cooked tht way (not many would) but that my son would eat the whole damn thing with rabid glee in his eyes. And boy did he. I had a small cut of fatty beef. My wife had a slice or two. My daughter innocently challenged a piece that looked like meat but then changed her mind. My son smeared it all over himself like Schwarzenegger in Predator. Beefy blood poured down his chin and he helpfully rubbed chunks of it into his hair causing my wife to actually gag a few times. I swear if he encountered a cow in the back yard he would bite it until it died. Amusingly my daughter was actually gagging on her own food because she was being forced to eat sweet potato.

It's actually ironic that he revealed himself as El Chupacabra because I just realized I haven't told my daughter the Tarzan story. My wife reminded me The Jungle Book is knocking around waiting to be read. So once we finish Charlie And The Chocolate Factory we shall plow on with that. As for Tarzan I can't remember reading the Edgar Rice Burroughs books myself so I'm excited to read them myself. I need helpf remembering other books in that vein too. I tried Treasure Island for my daughter a while back and the language was a touch flowery for her. I might try it again. Outside of those and a few old hardbacks I have I might fish out Journey To The Center Of The Earth and Gulliver's Travels and hopefully she'll like that sort of thing.

So my wife was trying to spark up a conversation with her daughter about what she has been doing at school lately. I was expecting my daughter to talk about crafts or plans to make presents for parents. Instead she said, "making pictures for soldiers." Which was odd. Now - I think those parents that drag their kid out of school and plow their way to Federal court because someone mentioned God or advocated health care for all are insane. They seem to have this bizarre feeling that if you tell a child something it will spoil them with mind-pollution. But then you hear about those weird teachers who get all the kids in school to write letters to congressman about abortion or illegal immigrants. Just insane stuff. I don't quite put this in the same context because it isn't meant as political activity, but I think you have to tell parents if you are making your kids do something. You know there are plenty of people in this country who do not support US foreign policy or military action of any kind. I know enough people who don;t only not "support the wars" so to speak, but don't support the troops either. So not telling them on purpose is odd because it means you are deliberately hiding stuff. I'm uneasy on principle that I wasn't told what my child is doing.

I also recommended something amusing for my wife to do at work for her employees. On principle I think it's a good thing for bosses to give their employees something at Christmas for Christmas. So not related to wages/salaries or anything like that - but solely about the holiday. So I thought it would be funny if she left an envelope marked BONUS on everyone's desk that had a short note in it that said, "thanks for all your hard work" or some such platitude. Also included would be a few coins of chocolate money. Sort of amusing - and at some stores you can get chocolate bundles of dollar bills too.

Oh - and I'm still getting to grips with my computer after formatting the hard drive. It was eaten by evil. Trojans by the gallon to be exact. This is the point where all vaguely tech-savvy people think, "so porn or downloading stuff then?" and I claim that it wasn't that. And then they snidely say, "oh well then - it must have fallen into the keyboard when you dropped that candy bar once..." To which I would say, "stop being judgmental and pious." To which they say, "oh so it was weird porn then - like tadpole porn or something."

Go away.

1 comment:

  1. Re the trojan assault, what kind of system are you running and what security software do you use?

    ReplyDelete