Monday, December 19, 2011

View From A Mentalist: Dec 19

My daughter took 130 photos yesterday. And I was excited because they weren't mostly taken in her own living room. Sadly it quickly dawned on me that as all of them were taken from her seat in the car and of her Grandparents Christmas tree it was very likely that she'd mostly come up with shots of the back of my head and blurry out-of-focus pictures of Christmas baubles. Which is exactly what she got. So what you get is a snapshot of us driving - then doing stuff - and then driving home. So my optimism of an exciting different series of photos ended up being 130 mostly fuzzy photos.

Right off the bat she took a bunch of shots out the window that actually were in focus. But whereas I can look at these and think, "oh I know where that is and it's only some trees!" you're probably thinking, "how boring - those are just trees."

Yep - I just posted that. It's a blanket that I'd propped on the back of my chair for my daughter in case she gets cold. Or - in this case - wanted to take thirty-plus photos of it. Now don't think that's a banal waste of time to look at. I once temped in an art gallery that had a massive exhibition of white art work. So row upon row of slightly different sized squared materials and guff that looked identical. It's quite likely artists got different stuff back than they sent in, but were just too embarrassed to check.

Ah - there was something to photograph after all. She looks like she might glass someone in this photo.

She took this for the dentist. She's off to see him this morning.

Oh now we're talking. That's a three foot wooden bear at the in-laws. It's cute and friendly unlike real bears that will gladly eat your face off.

Of the forty-ish pictures of the Christmas tree this is one of myabe three that is in focus. Shame really - I might not have shown you lot what she'd taken but I will sit down and show her.

More ornaments. That's my wife. She's older now.

Not a bad shot of her brother that. Thing is I know I didn't take it, but the angle seems too high.

Last ornament I promise. I only put this one up because it has a reflection of some strangely hairy man in it gurning away like he doesn't quite understand stuff so grins because there's a tree inside a house.

This though is what almost everything else looks like at the in-laws house. Or - rather worryingly - this is how my daughter sees things.....

So we started off home. At which point my daughter had an idea. Take a photo of her own face.

Then.....pretend to eat the camera.

Clearly she didn't think anyone was going to go for a half-arsed depiction of camera eating and went ahead and stuck it right into her gob. I tagged this photo as, "The Cave Of Last Hope."

At some point my daughter realized that this was probably all quite dull. So she took a handful of photos of ghosts swirling around inside the car. No really...

See - that's obviously a ghost. It's not the flash bouncing off the reflective glass in the dark lowlight at all. It's a naughty ghost hanging around my wife and touching her naughty bits without her even knowing.

Last one - this one looks like a coma. Obviously I wouldn't really know that but let's all pretend that's what this is.

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