Saturday, April 14, 2012

Driller Killer Is Eating Everything We Own

I was foolish enough to put this in my mouth yesterday. It's called, "Pink Bismuth." It apparently quickly resolves nausea and stomach aches.

Don't worry though - I quickly put it in the toilet within 90 seconds. I haven't checked purely due to laziness but I'm pretty sure Bismuth isn't another word for Ipecac. Amusingly I didn't feel as bad afterwards and have been fine since. I did though realize that I can do magic now. I know this because all I ate yesterday was a small amount of chicken - but all I could taste all day were eggs. Which was disgusting I can assure you. Thankfully after the Bismuth This morning I've had that hangover feeling with a sore head and weird feeling stomach - but I think we're all out of the woods now. My son is also behaving like he's over a big weekend on the lash by chugging a pint of orange juice down, two bowls of Cheerios, some strawberries and a banana, and then demanding rounds of toast to munch on. Actually he's been replicating that seen from Brain Dead where the guy kills all the zombies with a lawnmower. Except in his case it's taking out dinosaurs with a drill. Note the amusing ending where I turned the camera off because he was annoyed about being attacked by a dinosaur. I can assure you after it was off that he took every effort to get revenge. Leading to my daughter loudly rebuking him about how, "you should NEVER pretend your hand is a hammer Owen!"Timeless advice there.

My daughter is definitely fine polishing off three bowls of cereal before spending the morning with her best friend Wolfy.She's been playing ball with him (throwing a ball sort-of near him and then telling him he needs to improve his catching abilities) and then used her doctor kit on him. Then she showed him some videos on Youtube.

My wife though has been adamant to not get sick. She hates throwing up. So for the very short period after the kids were in bed she sat more than arms length away from me before quickly escaping off to bed. During which time some news report came on about the anniversary of the Titanic sinking. Except instead of showing the Titanic they showed Kate Winslet from what might be one of the worst movies I've ever seen (and I'm including Leslie Nielsen's dire Dracula: Dead and Loving It here too). It was odd. Some guy was asked why people love the story so much and they just kept showing pictures of Kate Winslet in increasing states of undress. The talking head bloke said the story was, "gripping." I'm honest to admit that as soon as I heard that I turned to my wife and said in my best Ray Winstone accent, "I'm betting there's quite a lot of gripping going on when people watch Kate Winslet. Snort...." She just gave me the stink-eye and that was the end of that. At which point she went to bed at 8.30. I followed her up and she banished me from my own bed. Bah.

Right - I'm off to design socks with my daughter. That's her latest idea. IT won't beat the underpants for amusement but you never know.

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