Monday, April 2, 2012

No More Knickers (After This Obviously)

I promise this is it. The last thing I want is for people to think this blog has turned into a shockingly dire  underpants design hub. We ran out of underpants paper anyway so can't make anymore. Anyhoo - I'll get this over and done with.

My daughter made these. No prompting or anything - she just went to town. And she made them for me. I can't promise that I won't model them here at some point.

This, apparently, is me on a boat all on my own. Which is patent nonsense because I'm not going out on a body of water in a boat without a life jacket and/or someone to save me when I start drowning.

These are nice mind. Nice placement of foliage. I am a little disturbed that my daughter says there's a squirrel living in there though. Feel free to enjoy all the internal squirrel/nuts jokes that you can think of.

Now - I must warn you to protect your eyes now. These are probably what Dennis Hopper wears. Go on - close your eyes and picture him striding about his house in just a pair of these - but with also huffing on an oxygen mask like he did in Blue Velvet. Delightful right?

Ladies and gentlemen - you finally get to see my wife's underpants. Brace yourselves. She designed them herself and they're quite lovely. If you aren't sure that's the Sun and the Moon, and not a fried egg and a surprisingly thick braid of pubic hair.

And my daughter says that this is a picture of me in underpants form. It's a sunning likeness. My hair in particular is spot on.

And to end with we have these. Again this is all my daughter's work. On the left are a pair of upside-down zebra-pants. I told her they look like an official pair of underpants that a football team would come out with. But that made me imagine the Hull City tiger pattern from a few years back. And then the brown Spurs one. Before I knew it my mind was racing and I had a frightening image of Martin Skrtel sporting a pair of Liverpool Away grey underpants. If only I could wash my minds-eye thoroughly.

On the right we have another pair of Copyright Infringement Knickers. My daughter was quick to point out though that these underpants like to repeatedly bang in to the other pair with a the green pig on them. Do with that knowledge what you will.

Anyway - that's that. I shall try and drift back into more respectable non-underpants related nonsense from this point forward.

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