My daughter cried twice this morning.
Not due to injury or being deprived of anything. This was more in the intangible mental way. Tommy Tiernan perfectly described it by describing how one of his children was inconsolable because they'd lost their invisible sword. So early on this morning my daughter began crying because, "I don't smell like oatmeal." Then - during our daily playground visit - she started blubbing a little. She had the curled up lip and was concentrating on not showing me tat she was bothered by something. Thinking something must have happened I got down to her level and asked what was up.She then said hat her friend at school was mean on the playground by calling mispronouncing her last name as, "broccoli." I told her he isn't being mean really - it was just a funny word that sounds like her surname. And that really - if being called broccoli is as bad as it getst hen she's already won that one. Then I asked which friend at school and told her (based on the fact his name rhyme with the word, "gay") that it's fairly likely that he's going to struggle with problems related to his name for a lot of his school life.
Anyhoo - we had to go out. to the playground. My kids were getting antsy being indoors - and frankly I was beginning to feel nauseous about a whole day indoors with both of them. So I told them it was wet and cold, but by golly we are off out to a playground. I picked the one we'd already been to the day before because it has bathrooms, a water fountain, a pavillion if it's really wanking it down and is partially covered by the trees. So I forced them into warmer clothes than they expected to be wearing. That took some doing. It may be June 25th but on the drive over to the playground I even put the heating on in the car. Weird morning indeed.
My daughter commented that - with all this water about there may be bugs. "Yes - lots of mosquitoes" I added. Apparently that was wrong. "Actually Daddy - that's wrong." (see - I told you) "At this playground they have mousequitoes. They're much bigger than mosquitoes" I do hope not. Mosquitoes are annoying enough. And mousequitoes sounds like the sort of thing you learn about after a whistle-blower reveals what the secret ingredient is in the new Taco Bell $1 chalupa.
When we got home it was raining a little bit so we watched a TV show before playing some games and doing some painting. The TV show did something that a lot of kids show do - and makes no sense to me at all. That being a reference to Elvis. I've seen characters in Dinosaur Train that are basically Elvis as a dinosaur. I've definitely seen characters in other shows that are an alleged pop-star that is also basically Elvis - but as a fairy/animal/whatever concept the show has. I made this point to my daughter and she looked at me blankly - like I was explaining the pros and cons of hydro-fracking to her. Which proves the point entirely. I know Elvis is a massive icon to many - but my nearly-five year old can't name any famous pop stars at all. So why would Sesame Street - a pretty smart show in my view - have characters enthuse about Elvis who is allegedly off-screen? Seemed weird to me.
I didn't want the kids watching TV today so I took matters into my own hands and entertained them. Primarily by teaching them how to bowl. As I'm sure you'll agree I'm bloody good at it. .