Tuesday, June 5, 2012

The Kangaroo

No - that's a dog.

My son rocketed around the house yesterday. He didn't walk or run - because that would have required him to use his foot. And as he had determined that he couldn't walk he scuttled around in a sort of crawl/mutant feral-beast that they'd have in a dodgy movie where someone gets eaten by a ravenous children. Actually it reminded me of a Channel 5 (I think) documentary (in the loosest sense) about feral wolf-children living in Russia and the Ukraine that had grown up being raised by dogs. This sort of rubbish. He clearly had no problem bombing around - and expressed no pain at all. If he was on the couch he would stand and bounce and kick and whatnot. And when he was near anyone on the ground he was more than pleased to wrestle them until they begged for him to stop.

I have a lot of difficulty in these situations. Because he clearly wasn't in pain. He didn't have any swelling, bruising or signs that something was wrong. You could grab his foot and ankle - wiggle it about, rotate it and squash it and he didn't have any pain - he just giggled. But didn't put his foot down in the morning and then co-opted a few sentences we'd said about it all day long - those being, "Ouch. It hurts. I can't walk." Don't be fooled by the "ouch" either. He didn't put his foot down and then respond with that. And as I've mentioned due to my focus on whether his foot worked or not he took it as a cue to play foot-battle all day long. But when I went to pick up his sister I had to put him down at some point. And he wouldn't stand on it and said, "Ouch. It hurts. I can't walk." Other people around me then judged me to be a monster. Why on earth hadn't I gone to Urgent Care? Or the hospital? I told them because it didn't hurt. They rejected that entirely - he had after all just said "ouch." I was confused that these other people with kids couldn't interpret that to my son it was part of a routine - a game if you like. And that he'd been bouncing around all day long with nary a wince, and ouch or a grimace. And that likely in the morning he'll forget the routine of not using it and saying, "Ouch. It hurts. I can't walk." and bound out of bed like a kangaroo. After all - this is a boy that when his mother asked him to point specifically to the part of his foot that hurt pointed at the dog.

Sadly this attitude seems to be entirely anathema to most people. So I then felt forced - in the company of all these people - to pledge that I had been following a careful loving plan to the letter. That being that if he wasn't better in the morning we would rush immediately to a hospital for immediate treatment. In other words - even though I one hundred percent believe that to be totally unnecessary - I have to go to the doctor as an insurance measure in the extremely rare instance that somehow it turns out that if I didn't his foot would rot and fall off. The idea of which annoyed me to no end because I knew I'd be sat with my local GP who would spend 60 seconds looking at him only to declare that nothing is wrong and that I may just be one of those overly-dramatic parents. Then he would bill the insurance company - who would bully the price down - and then my wife and I would receive a letter in June 2014 from the insurance company where they randomly state that they've decided not to pay for it and that we now owe $400. That right there is a huge factor as to why the US healthcare system is a total clusterfuck. People pay astronomical amounts of money to healthcare plans - along with their employers contributions completely dwarfing that amount - and therefore then expect to get some sort of magic medicine in return for absolutely any ailment. A pill not only can fix anything here (as we are constantly being told) - but it better fucking well do based on the amount of money changing hands. And if you're insulted by that language then you have absolutely no notion of when swearing is completely legitimate. Any and all instances when you talk about US healthcare - especially when having just referred to insurance - should be littered with strong, brutal language. It's a complete and total mess.

All of which makes it doubly sad that my son died this morning. Not really obviously. No - he came bouncing across the landing this morning like a kangaroo - completely forgetting that his foot doesn't work. Probably twisted it somehow and then didn't want to walk on it. Right now he's chasing his sister up and down the stairs with a drum and a squeaky elephant. When I go to pick his sister up from school later I'll set him down and he'll run around. Instead of everyone commenting on how he seems all better and that yes-  going to the doctor would have been a needless waste of time, money and another factor contributing to the unnecessary bloating of healthcare - they'll all still judge me as getting the decision all wrong. I should have taken him. In fact damn it - this is America - he deserved to go to the doctor. What is this - communist Russia? Afghanistan? No - if a child can't be frivolously taken to see a doctor for hundreds of dollars then clearly I want the enemy to win. What if his foot had rotted off? Or he died? Or contract The Gay? Then he couldn't join the legions of righteous stormtroopers come his eighteenth birthday parading around the globe in defense of Freedom and McLiberty.

Stupid limeys.

No comments:

Post a Comment