Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Weeper

 I got a call from the school nurse to say that my daughter was diagnosed with, "crying."

My daughter managed just over fifty percent of her school day before I got the call from the nurse. She said my daughter had a fever but otherwise just said she was just really sad. And that she cried without stopping - unable to be comforted - until I got there. She was extremely happy to see me when I did. Which was nice - at least the teachers and nurses' ever-present detective-senses on the look out for Evil Bad Parents will have been sated by that. The two women who flirt with me and my son (they say it's just with him - but not only is that actually creepy when you think about it, but they also blatantly come out and say they're flirting with me too) every day in the office also went through that process of seeing a desperately sad girl completely relieved when Dad got to school. She clung to my leg like a baby monkey while I signed her out. Then I carried her and her still-sleeping brother out to the car while one of the women - and I'm not kidding - wept about how sad it was.

Actually I imagine that a few of said women will go home tonight - log into their own blogging accounts and pen something akin to the following. (For the sake of clarity all of their words are in italics and bold)

Such a sad thing today. The unbelievably pretty daughter of that super-hot British guy - the one who I've told you all about who should be in movies about super-hot British guys - went home sick today. No throwing up or bottom-whoopsies (this is how I imagine some women talk....). Nothing vulgar or anything like that. No she just said she was sad. Obviously I had a tiny concern that something was up at home - but once the Super Hot British Guy showed up - muscles rippling underneath is tight black t-shirt as he manfully cradled another of his finely produced offspring (one can only imagine the majesty of the moment they were conceived...) - she ran to him like the heroic Man that all the women (and Frank from the Art department) have all agreed that he is. Hopefully he doesn't suspect us of any ill-doing. You know how parents always have that ever-present detective-sense to be on the look out for Evil Bad School Employees. i cried when they left - his children wrapped up in his big strong arms - safe from all the harm in this sick unfair world. It - he especially - was just so beautiful. I have to go - too many tears. And frankly I'm extremely horny now. Must satisfy needs.

Now we're home my daughter is fine. She's not even taking it easy. She's going through her bullet points of what the right thing is to do when you're sick. So she asked for medicine, asked me to take her temperature (I just went for the hand on forehead technique and she is displaying no signs of temperature), told me her ears don't hurt and then asked for various fruits to help her get over the whole thing - whilst reminding me that candy and chocolates are a no-no at dire times like these. She doesn't even want me to sit snuggled up with her - the solid indication of illness - because then she can't jump up and down randomly now and again. Probably one of those rapid things that other parents have told me about but I've never experienced before.

Saying that we're off for a lie down and a cuddle anyway. It's the best medicine even when you aren't sick.


  1. LMFAO @ the imaginary teacher blog!
    and bless...hope your daughter's touch of the blues goes away quick.

    1. I'm thinking of doing more teacher blogs. Mostly over the summer when there isn't any skool.