I had planned on writing about something else. But something came out. Actually that's not quite right. Rather something came out. Here's a hint. It involved both my kids spending hours having diarrhea. Did you guess it yet? In fact the whole afternoon has been unpleasantly tainted with a veneer of ick. Both my kids have diarrhea. It's a real joy for everyone. Repetitive shitting is enough to remove a smile from even the cheeriest person. Not that that's me - but frankly there's only so much diarrhea one man can handle. I should really rephrase that.
Even situations that haven't involved diarrhea somehow have had it's foul caress grip a hold of it. Take this short interchange between my daughter and the next door neighbor.
Me: So honey, why don't you tell him (the neighbor) about going to Urgent Care yesterday.
Neighbor: Oh no! Why did you have to go to the doctor?
Daughter: Well - my brother pooped on my Daddies' shoulder and we needed a doctor to get it off.
Just to be clear nobody pooed on anyone's shoulder. Not in my house anyway. Feel free to blast away on Google to locate the nearest recorded incident of that to you. Anyhoo - since 2pm we've been sat in doors glumly. We did other normal stuff today as well obviously. Like mowing the lawn, playing outside and generally being silly. But as you are aware when you have the squirts that's pretty much how you sum up the events of the day. So seeing as this is now an obligatory video post feel the need to at least reassure you that the video below don't involve that at all. Praise be! It does however involve the beginning of the worse magic trick in history. That being making oatmeal disappear - only for it to appear again later (over and over and over again...).