Sunday, December 2, 2012


My family are being ravaged by a cold.

Not my wife as of yet. She always holds out longer than the rest - with them often skipping her entirely. But my daughter began lashing out like a whirling dervish sometime in the middle of last week. I reminded myself that this often means she's about to come down with something. Sure enough Thursday the cough started and she practically begged to go to bed early without stories. Friday her cough had become prickly and gargling - like she was scraping custard every time she coughed. Then she had a full-bore meltdown right before bed. Yesterday she had the tell tale red hue to her face to go with the cough and the runny nose. Throughout the day her brother came on rapidly with his own cold. I could feel it in my throat yesterday but hoped it was just dust from getting the Christmas decorations out of the attic. It wasn't. I knew really because while I did manage a 7 mile run yesterday it was very hard going when it shouldn't have been at all. Although during it I found my self directly in the middle of a flock of migrating Canada Geese. So for a brief period I felt like I was in the documentary Winged Migration alongside them all. Except I wasn't - I was below them for about three minutes very aware that I would probably get goosed on. Thankfully that didn't happen.

By bedtime my own head was burning with the embryo of a cold. Bedtime being at 8.15pm when I just couldn't take it any more. I got up at midnight to chug on NyQuil. Then I woke again at 1.15am with that annoying situation where your nose is running so much that you can't keep up. Then at 2am. I gave up at 3am and have been dabbing my snotty nose ever since. My son got up not that long after 5am and has been horrified at how quickly the snot is emptying out of him. Weirder is that he refuses to keep a used tissue near him because it's just too disgusting. He's more than happy to double-dip tortilla chips but won't use a tissue more than twice. So I tried the old method of filling him vitamin C and we sat around the kitchen table in the dark-light while he ate clementines and I played a song very badly on guitar (I hope you can hear the spirit of it amongst all the mistakes - some dayst he fingers don't cooperate!).

I did want to mention though that my son thinks counting involves covering your eyes a la hide-and-seek. Yesterday while putting up decorating hooks his mother asked him to help her count to ten. Each time she did he covered his eyes and made the "here I come!" noise when she was done. Which is much, much cuter than his other recent habits. The first being helping sort out the clean laundry by wrapping whatever comes out of the dryer around his neck like a scarf, and then crawling across the bedroom floor yelling, special delivery!" Truth be told the first few days he did that I swore he was saying "special lady" which was beyond disturbing.

His other recent quirk is much more worrisome though. His nipple-touching habit has returned with such frequency that his mother and I are constantly telling him to cut it out. Then in the middle of last week he swapped ot grabbing the dog's tiny, stumpy tail. I tried to reason with him and didn't get very far so idiotically tried to convey the scale of his misdemeanor by saying it was worse than touching his mother's nipples. A day later he was wandering around the house fondling the dog's tail and chanting "worse than mommy's nipples" over and over again. Minus ten dad points (and probably twenty husband points as well) for that. Although I surely regain some Dad points by bringing home a bunch of Terry's Chocolate Eggs and this shirt for my daughter, which she thought was fantastic.

Anyhoo - I have to hunt for the menthol stick thing that you jam up your nose and huff on. I don't know if it works but it sure does smell good.

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