The finest, juiciest apples for miles around, I can tell you.
Good parents are usually careful about what they say around their kids. Primarily as a way to teach right from wrong - but admittedly also so their kids don't repeat it in front of other people. Because when your child casually yells a swearword or dodgy phrase in front of others it immediately reflects upon the parent. Parents also watch what they say so as not to destroy an idealized worldview in which Santa Claus exists, people never die and not having to explain things like how Uncle Bill now lives with the man he hired to unblock his sump pump (euphemism implied).
Last week at my daughter's school though I witnessed what happens when a parent feels comfortable talking in front of their child about something. And because they were using a secret code they were fooled into believing they are free to do so without risk of being discovered. And it was revealed in spectacular fashion. That being that a little girl's parents both showed up to pick her up from school. The mother came into the hallway to chat with another woman there. The father lined up to go into the school office to sign the folder that says a child is being picked up that day. The bell went for the end of the day and the kids came down the hallway. The kids come out in spurts depending on how quickly they'd all put on their snow pants and coats and whatnot. And almost first were two girls who stopped at the chatting women in front of me. The one girl was told by her mother that this (pointing) is her friends mother. At which point the girl loudly said in front of about fifty other parents, "My dad says that you have a really hot leg.....?" before scrunching her face up to suggest that sentence needed an explanation. That was followed ten seconds later by the same Dad coming out of the school office completely ignorant that everyone else in the hallway just heard his daughter effectively declare that the woman stood next to his wife gives him a magical feeling in his underpants.
This is exactly why my own secret codes are much more vague. For example, my daughter telling the woman at the farm stand that, "my Daddy says you have the juiciest apples around" isn't going ot get me in any trouble at all.
Right - here are a couple of photos of my son and I playing his new version of Hide and Seek. Which basically involves hiding in my bed under the duvet before popping out and yelling random words. Never have I been prouder of my son willfully screaming, "SAUSAGES" in my home.