Daughter: We had to hide in the bathroom in case the crook tried to steal us. But some people were too loud so the teacher made them hide in a cupboard.
At no point in my entire childhood did any school I was at have a YOU WILL ALL BE MASSACRED nuclear war drill. Ever. Because that's demented. It clearly has absolutely nothing to do with safety. And so we fastforward to today when the Cold War is over, I now live in the US with kids of my own and we can leave all that ridiculous bollocks behind. Except now there's another reason to scare the utter shit out of every kid at school.
Yesterday when I picked my daughter up she was clearly overly thoughtful. Then she told me what they'd done at school. I wish I could have taped the initial conversation because it was a lot more chilling and bizarre than the one below. Believe whatever you want about how the Second Amendment should be interpreted. But getting kids to hide in a cupboard and telling them to practice being quiet in case a kidnapper/gunman is in the classroom is fucking insane.