Friday, November 15, 2013

Friday Fluff

Son: Daddy do you want to see where I go grow cheese?
Me: Not really, no.

My son wanders the house in the mornings with a bag containing his lunch. He wont let it out of his site. It's like a security blanket - except he's clinging to it with swelling pride. He loves the idea that he gets to pack and take a lunch to, "O-school". Which I suppose is good because he's been deliberately protesting every single dinner made for him for about a fortnight now. He gets fed very well indeed at his daycare - and what with his "second lunch" that he now takes he isn't starving at all. Actually the most notable thing about his dinner-protests is how mental they are. For example he'll take one revolted look down at his plate (after pleading for something to eat for at least an hour) and then remark, "....I don't like beans..." before affecting a forced, teenage shrug and pursing his lips so as to make it clear that whatever that shit is in front of him isn't up to scratch. The best part about that of course is that he does very much like beans, and he said that when there was a plate of chicken fried rice in front of him - so nary a bean in sight. So clearly he's being a dick - but in an expected, developmental way. It took us longer to get here than I thought it would anyway.

Speaking of disaffected youth, some time ago on a camping trip the state park staff showed the movie Despicable Me for the kids to watch. At the time my daughter couldn't give two tosses about that sort of movie. She still isn't remotely interested in big, Disney blockbusters. Put pretty much any Pixar movie on and she thinks it's too slick and shiny and rushes across the room to turn the television off. Anyhoo when it came out on DVD I got it out from the library. It must have lasted about ten minutes before my daughter did her own shrug at it and turned it off. She thought it was utter garbage. Not at all as awesome as the naff movie that was made purely to sell the cheap, blinking LED shoes that she wears.

Fast forward to the week before Halloween and she started mentioning the Minions from it. But mostly in a, "my friend at school likes Minions in the same way you like sausage Daddy." Now a few weeks later and she wont shut up about Minions. Absolutely everything that comes out of her mouth is about how Minions do this and that. She was given one by a school friend and wandered about with it remarking on how it reacted to every, single situation she encountered. Think of those knob-ends that think that Twitter or Facebook statuses are supposed to be a running commentary of their life on a quarter-hour basis ("Might have some toast..." followed fifteen minutes later by, "had some toast....") and you're getting close. "My Minion is sitting on the couch! He thinks it's soft!" "Do you know how a Minion says hello Daddy? It says, "hello!" That sort of thing. She even made a bed out of cotton balls for her Minion to sleep on at night (by the way - it better be at least a decade before I accidentally find suspicious, clumps of cotton wool like this in my son's room).

 Hilariously because Minions eat bananas (allegedly a focal point of the script there - no idea myself) she's packed herself a banana for lunch today at school despite hating them vehemently for years. I might sneak down to her school and peer through the window and watch while she struggles to eat it without wanting to vomit. Her gag-reflex is likely stronger than her obsession so it'll be an impressive sight. However if memory serves me right schools over here don't take to kindly to men hanging out in the bushes and watching kids munch on phallic-shaped objects whilst laughing uncontrollably.

One last thing - the other day I went outside and heard an extraordinarily loud noise. It being below freezing at night means most of the birds have buggered off somewhere warm. But it warmed up a touch and evidently the birds were riding the warm front to wherever they were going - because there were thousands of them in the trees outside my house. The video is pretty shit but here you go -:

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