Wednesday, January 22, 2014

A Never Ending Tussle

So, first things first - I work with someone who looks EXACTLY like this.


I am also honored to work in an organization that includes some of the most marvelously named people in history. For example there is an IT specialist in India who's forename is Bifta. Which still isn't as delightfully ridiculous as one of his female coworkers (and I swear I've encountered this name before) who has the christian name, Porntip. I've decided to be level-headed about this and assume that at some point last week when I contacted Porntip to have my Lotus Notes password reset that a small group huddled around her screen to laugh at the fact that - in India - my name means, "massive dog's bell end" or some such absurdity. Of course none of this remotely comes close to the triumphantly named person (I honestly couldn't confirm what sex they are) who has had to endure the name Anil Bejavia. Again - probably means piss-all where they're from. But now they've mingled in with the foul, unwashed pillocks from the West (well - me mostly) they have to endure sniggers every time they introduce themselves on a conference call.

I suppose I also need to mention that my kids have entered some odd fighty phase. They genuinely don't appear to want to get along at all. He's clearly the main instigators too. But being three he's shit at subtlety. So instead of trying to get away with behaving like a twat he just plows right in and seemingly couldn't give a toss about consequences. None of this, "but I'm technically not actually touching her" annoying stuff. He's got no time for that at all. Instead he just stands two feet away screaming incomprehensible bollocks at her before abandoning that delightful hobby and just trying to punch her .Actually his favorite is to rub his arse on her like a perverted dog. Which she used to think was funny (she did teach him that in the first place) but now finds it mortality wounding. For her part though she has taken to doing a weird, reverse misogynistic thing to her brother. That being to tease him when he's shoving his Batman car around and mocking him by sarcastically saying, "oh I'm so scared - here comes Bat Girl...." Which is making him so angry that he told her that her My Little Pony village that she built smells like penis. 

Mind you it kind of does.

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