Please help. I'm trapped beneath an enormous pile of snow.
Great God! This is an awful place and terrible enough for us to have laboured to it without the reward of priority. Okay admittedly that's actually a diary entry from Captain Scott as he and his expedition remained trapped in Antarctica. But it did snow a lot. And I am cold. But that's mainly because I haven't gone and got dressed yet. There is very little chance that I might eat one of my companions. But again mostly because one is a dog, one is my sick girlfriend (insert amusing "I could eat her if you know what I'm saying, right guys..." joke here) and the refrigerator is literally five feet away from me. But on the agreed side there have been solid moments where I've dropped to my knees, thrown my hands in the air and shrieked that this is an awful place. So there's that.
Anyhoo - got to go dig the car out of the snow. Again. Then meander to work. Scott may have perished in the Antarctic. But he didn't have to endure driving behind utter muppets who can't drive in snow. He doesn't know he was born, I tell you.