Saturday, February 1, 2014


Rcently I anonymously decided to glue down a massive pork scratching to a colleagues desk with a Band Aid.

Luckily I always have them to hand. I keep them in my car as a natural way to give my vehicle a Real Man aroma. Hilariously when the pork-scab was discovered nobody knew what it was. It certainly doesn't look or smell like any meat that's commonly eaten around here. Mind you pretty much nobody I know has eaten lamb or salmon. But they have eaten the turgid, filth that bobbles around in the gas-station hot dog aquarium on multiple occasions. And frankly pork scratchings just aren't that popular around these parts - so isn't easily identifiable as a foodstuff.

After an initial investigation it was deemed that it probably was a meat product of some kind. Thankfully though the person's desk I glued it to is vegan due to the joylous, evil nature of mechanical meat farming in this country. And to go along with that they carry a whole armful of nice, left-wing tendencies that basically involve a principle to never, ever cry to management or HR about any issue. Which is fortunate. Because after the pork-flake was placed as far away from them on their desk - but still geographically on it - I wandered over. Then picked it up, peeled it off the Band Aid inquisitively and ate it.

That'll add a delightfully complex flavor to the home-made civet coffee later.

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