Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Missing Penis

There are some people who believe that what a boy needs most in his life is a strong father figure. And that when parents split up it is important for kids of either gender to spend as much time with the parent of the same gender to ensure a more balanced upbringing. This is not the case with my kids, Their principal home is with their mother. There are lots of reasons for that of course. But on the whole the house that they live in is has always been theirs (as far as memory goes, for my daughter - and in all actuality for my son). Therefore as far as my son is concerned at home he is mostly around his mother and his sister.

In completely unrelated news my son has just informed me that he is now a girl. Admittedly he did ask me right afterwards what would make him a girl instead of a boy. But then he quickly said that his penis fell off at daycare last week - so now he's a girl. After very little questioning on my part he admitted that he still had his penis. But that he really wants to act like a girl now. So I asked him to list the ways that girls act. So far he's come up with -:

- You scream whilst playing with girls toys. Which sounds demented.
- You eat chicken nuggets and drink chocolate milk. He didn't clarify if this was human milk or cows milk so as to increase his female hormones.- and I didn't really want to give him any ideas.
- Ride on wild unicorns.
- Change your name to a "girl-name". I asked him for an example and he said, "nipple". Which did make me think of some females I know, to be honest.
- Best of all you "capture a girls' shadow and eat it". That sounds like a phenomenal storyline for a comic book.

I presume you can tell it's a girl's shadow because there's no penis, but it smells like chocolate milk and chicken nuggets.

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