Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Junk Blatheration

Me: Oh it's not just the Tooth Fairy. There are lots of others. One for every disease!
Daughter: Like the Dirty Bum Fairy?
Me: That's probably referring to someone else. Maybe someone's nickname.
Son: Or superhero name!!!
Me: I bet he wears a brown cape...

Anyhoo - today I had to ask a financial institution about someone named Anil Nair. Essentially I wanted to clarify whether it referred to a sanctioned Iranian vessel, an individual's name or (shudder) a description of a product someone purchased to remove unwanted foliage from one's arse. I can practically sense the stinging just thinking about it. Just imagine the thicket you'd need to have growing down there to require Nair to remove it. Still - I haven't received a response yet about Anil Nair. Good God if it is that last one I hope they don't provide before-and-after pictures.

Today someone also mentioned a Violence In The Workplace class they may have to take. It wasn't clear at first whether this was pro or con. I did offer that I'd taken it previously and my least-favorite class was the third one called Dick Punch. Now - seeing as I'm in the mood to clear up any misconceptions - I should point out I'm not referring to a sordid drink placed out at a party (generated by nine amorous men glucking into a punchbowl). Not at all. Goodness that would be stodgy.

Person One: "Hey what is this? A White Russian?"
Person Two: "Not exactly, no. It's more multicultural than that. Like Yakult claims it is. A melting-pot of sorts, if you will.

Amusingly I did go looking for an amusing image/GIF to put with this and came up with these two.

And before you ask yes I did Google Ginger Nair. I was obviously too scared to look up Anil Ginger though.

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